Wednesday, July 22, 2015

The Best Ways to Keep Your Motivation High





One of the primary reasons why people don’t achieve their target is because they lack the motivation to either get started, or to keep going once the going gets tough.

Fortunately, there are many distinctive strategies you can use in order to motivate yourself to work toward the achievement of you goals. Here are my list of best ways to keep your motivation high:



*Make sure that the goal is your own. 

Nothing will drain your energy as much as trying to go after a goal that someone else has set for you and which you don’t believe in. Think of the difference between the effort that you have to produce in order to walk uphill, in comparison to the effort that you have to make in order to walk downhill.

-Taking action in order to accomplish a goal that someone else has set for you is like walking uphill. Since the goal is not something that would really inspires you, you have to continually push yourself to act.

-Taking action in order to achieve a goal that is your own is like walking downhill. Since the goal is something that would really inspires you, it pulls you toward it like the force of gravity.

*Engage in what you like best.

"A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm.”
-Charles M. Schwab

"Enthusiasm is easily expressed when one is inspired by a burning desire for something. Therefore, you need to set goals that you’re enthusiastic about. Think of enthusiasm as the flame that keeps your motivation burning."
- Napoleon Hill



*Surround yourself with people who are enthusiastic.

Other people can either dampen your enthusiasm and your interest, or they can help you to keep your motivation high. Befriend people who will inspire you and challenge you to achieve your goals.

In addition, enthusiasm is contagious. When you’re with people who are enthusiastic about their lives and about their goals, their enthusiasm will rub off on you.

*Use affirmations.

Usually, I’m not a fan of affirmations. Telling yourself things such as, “I am now a millionaire”– when the truth is that you do not any savings in the bank–, is not significant in any way. However, affirmations such as the following are useful:

-By taking small steps on a consistent basis, I will achieve my goal.
-I have the capability to achieve anything I set my mind to.
-No matter the challenge, I will see it through.
-Each time I fall, I get back up again.



*Ask yourself questions.

"One of the best ways to generate enthusiasm in yourself is by asking yourself questions about your abilities, your ideas, and your progress. Likewise, if you want to generate enthusiasm in others, ask them questions."
-Earl Prevette

“Ask enough questions and you will find the answer. Asking questions starts an endless chain of ideas, each one suggesting several others. Most inventions and improvements are the result of questions. Someone wanted to know the answer.”
-Earl Prevette

Questions stir up ideas, arouse feedback, stimulate interest, and create aspiration. That is, they generate enthusiasm. Here are some questions you can use in order to begin producing enthusiasm:

How can I have more fun doing this?
What’s good about this situation?
How can I continue moving forward?
What’s the next best step that I can take?
What do I want to happen here?
How can I advance the speed at which I’m moving forward?

*Focus.

Still another way to generate enthusiasm is by giving your full attention to what you’re doing. Earl Prevette explains that doing any job well requires concentration of thought. Integrate your mental attributes completely, pull together, and pay strict attention to what you’re doing.

“It is not putting in hours, but putting yourself into the hours that wins promotion, earns more money, precipitates an increase in salary and gets you ahead.”
-Earl Prevette

Whatever it is that you’re doing, look for ways to drag your attention together and place it fully on the activity that you’re carrying out. It’s very difficult to generate enthusiasm when half of your mind is on one thing, and the other half is contemplative of something else.



Create a “yes, but” list.

Whatever the goal is that you’re trying to fulfill, you can probably come up with a never ending list of reasons of why you can’t achieve it. These doubts linger in the back of your mind, eating away at your motivation. However, there’s a process you can use to help you alleviate these doubts. I call it the “yes, but” approach.

Sit down and write down all of the reasons why you think that you may not be able to attain your goals. Then, counter each of these with a “yes, but”. Here’s an example:

Reason I can’t complete my goal: I’m too old to go back to school.
Response: Yes, I am older, but my life experience is an advantage that younger people don’t have, and which will help me to do well in my studies.

Addressing your disbelief and looking for ways to knock them down or turn them into positives will help raise your motivation.

*Generate enthusiasm and motivation by feeling appreciation.

One of the emotions that helps to generate enthusiasm—and, therefore, helps to keep your motivation high–is gratitude. Feel gratitude for everything that you have that is helping you to achieve your goal. Here are three examples:

-Feel grateful that you have the health that is necessary to achieve your goal.
-Feel grateful that you have access to the internet which allows you to quickly find the information that you need in order to achieve your goal.
-Feel grateful that—through books—you have access to the stories of people who have already achieved what you’re trying to accomplish. This allows you to use these people as mentors and role models (even if you’ll never meet or speak to them).

*Be motivated by the past.

Make a list of all of your past successes. Whenever you’re feeling unmotivated, take out your list. Reminding yourself of everything that you’ve accomplished so far is a great way to pump yourself up when you feel like your efforts are not producing the results you were hoping for.



*Boost your self-esteem.

Your motivation may be low because you don’t feel that you’re capable of achieving your goals. If you think that you don’t have what it takes in order to achieve your objectives, your motivation will suffer. If this is the case, take steps to increase your self-confidence, and your motivation will rise accordingly.

*Give yourself a break.

If you’re constantly “on”, and you’re always striving to achieve your goal, sooner or later, you’re going to burn out.  Allow yourself to take breaks and do stuff that’s not productive, but that you enjoy doing. We all need some downtime.

Is there a TV show you really enjoy? Put it on your schedule.
Is there a video game you love to play? Give yourself a chunk of time to just sit back and play.
Is there a trashy novel you’ve been wanting to read? Take a weekend off, go to the beach, and sit under a beach umbrella with your novel.
Think of these scheduled breaks as an opportunity to recharge your battery, so that you’re fully charged and ready to go when it’s time to get back to working on your goal.



*Make the journey more enjoyable.

As Earl Nightingale once said, “Happiness comes from direction not arrival. It’s the trip that is enjoyable. Moving toward our goals is more satisfying than accomplishing them.”

If moving toward your goal is not currently satisfying, ask yourself how you can make the action that you need to take in order to achieve your goal more enjoyable. Here are some ways in which you can do this:

Add variety: work in a different location or try a different work method.

Balance physical work with mental work: if your goal requires a lot of mental work, take a break every now and then and do something physical. For example, you can go for a jog or turn on some music and dance around the room.

Involve others: ask a friend to read the first chapter of your novel and discuss it with you, or get your sister to train for the marathon with you.

Avoid the unpleasant: if there’s something that you need to do in order to achieve your goal which you find highly unpleasant, look for a way to outsource it, delegate it, or eliminate it.

Make the task more enjoyable: if there’s a task that you find unpleasant and which you can’t avoid doing, find a way to make it more enjoyable, even if it means that it will take longer.

Try to remain in a state of joy—or at the very least contentment–throughout the entire journey toward the achievement of your goal.  This means that sometimes you’ll have to sacrifice efficiency in favor of joy. And that’s OK.



*Begin.

Whatever you want to do, begin it.

“Do the thing, and you shall have the power.”
-Earl Prevette

Start learning about the topic at hand; the more you know about something that more likely you are to become enthusiastic about it. In addition, set small goals for yourself and begin to achieve them. These small achievements will help you to generate the enthusiasm that you’ll need to keep going.

In order to live your best life, you need to set goals. And in order to work toward the achievement of those goals, you need motivation. Use these strategies described above in order to keep your motivation high.

Friday, July 3, 2015

How to Divide Your Time and Attention Between Your Children

For 4 years, my daughter was an only child. As parents, we could spend as much time with her as wanted. When my wife got pregnant and gave birth to our son the love and attention needed to be divided, things had to change.

Very quickly, we had to change our plan as parents and learn how to divide our time evenly between our children – children who had very contrasting demands. Now that our daughter is 10 and my son is going 7 I can still feel that their is a sibling rivalry for attention between our kids.

Here are some tips and tricks that we have picked up during our time as parents that will hopefully assist others, as well.
1. Understand their different needs

 My first piece of advice is to identify the different needs of your children. For example, my 10 year old daughter needs to feel grown up, wants to help her mother with the laundry and washing dishes at times. My son on the other hand wants to play, draw, and sometimes be just by himself watching tv or playing games on his tablet.

Even if your children are closer in age, they will still need different things and attentions from you. This makes it much easier to divide your time between them.

Where their needs are the same, spend time with them both in order to help them learn that they do have to ‘share’ you.

2. Teaming up with your better half


One of the best ways to divide your time is to work with your better half.

While you’re spending time with one of your kids, let your wife spend quality time with the other. By working as a team in this way, my wife and I have found that each child gets the attention they’re craving.

Parenting is all about teamwork so remember to back one another up, and make sure you’re playing for the same side. It can be very difficult pleasing everyone but by sharing the load when you can makes things easier for you both.

3. Enjoy one-on-one time


One of the biggest challenges I have found as a parent, is making time for one-on-one days or activities with my children which is I barely do. But when you can, this is one of the best ways to help divide your time between them.

For example: if my son is having his 'me time' playing his toys in our room or playing his favorite game in his tablet I try to convince him that I am also interested on what he's been doing and try yo bond with him as much as possible.

Then, when my daughter is alone watching movies, I’ll spend the same amount of time with her. I’ll help her with his homework or just simply talk to her about school, talk about her day, or spend half an hour or so doing something she wants to do. This helps them both spend time with me each day especially on weekends.

4. Foster independent time 


 It’s important that your kids learn to not be so dependent on you, and demand your attention and time 24/7. That’s why I would like to recommend encouraging your children to spend time on their own 'me time'. Whether they play with their toys, spend time together, or do some homework; it’s important they learn a little independence.

This will help you to spend time with your other child, but will also teach them that it’s okay not to have your undivided attention. For me and my wife though, my daughter is so happy to spend time at her grandparents house during weekends, so it’s hard to pencil in any one-on-one time!

5. Spend time as a family


My final advice is to not see parenting as a ‘one or the other’ type approach. You’re a family and should spend as much time together as you can whether it be evenings or days out, or just eating meals together. Being a multi-tasking parent is hard but it’s a rewarding job.

Do you have tips and advice on how you spend time with each of your children? I’d love to hear them and we can add it here in the future.